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Difficult Early Days at Flamengo

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Everyone was very surprised at the start of the season when the news broke that Metalprawn had decided to leave the managers position at Juventus and sign a contract with the Brazilian team Flamengo. Reasons for the move are still unknown although there are plenty of rumors flying around saying the reasons could be related to Mr Prawns sexual adventures in Turin which have resulted in several ginger babies being born in Italy, most of these births coming from women who were already married to famous players such as Totti, Buffon and Icardi (getting a taste of his own medicine). As you could imagine such "affairs" caused uproar although Mr Prawn just didnt seem to care very much, in fact his response when asked about these accusations was to laugh, wink at the camera in a classy fashion or simply shrug his shoulders and say "meh".

Whatever his reasons for leaving are his chosen destination is a shocker, were still trying to figure out why a ginger bloke from the sunny land of Margate would want to go to Brazil where its approximately 5 miles away from the sun.

But back to the football situation......

Several weeks later Mr Prawn is now settled in his role, Flamengo's pre-season was a very impressive one with some great performances on the pitch which had the fans singing loudly once again, but then an early disaster struck. Fekir and Plea had fallen out with the manager after playing cards against humanity with Mr Prawn stating "Look the idea of this game is to be offensive and sick, if those Country & Westerns cant handle it they should just Fahook off out of here, i dont need precious pansies in my squad, crying any time something they dont like is said, its pathetic"

But Flamengo managed to do some good business in the summer transfer window with the likes or Rashford and Shaqiri returning to their "favourite manager" Rashford himself stated "I wish i had never left Ajax when Prawn was in charge, the guy is just such a legend and knows how to make me play to my full potential" Shaqiri just simply stated "I'll be back" and didnt quite get what the reporter was saying when he reminded him that he is already back.


Other new arrivals include Zagadou who was purchased from the drunken master himself @mrb71280 for the eyebrow raising fee of 35 million, but he is already starting to shine with the help of the Blind.

Praet, Diaz, Lookman, Sissoko, Pizarro and Wernbloom made up for the other pre-season signings.




Fast forward to the present day...........

Hopes were high for a good start to the premier league season, Flamengo fans and owners knew it would be highly unlikely to win the league especially with the likes of @Gregmeister @Ultravires and the newly arrived @Petmaister about, however they certainly didnt expect things to start off so badly. Fixture 1 was a heartbreaking one where they drew 3-3 with @PapaDolmio's Valencia courtesy of a 90th minute equaliser, although in truth Flamengo were lucky to get that result as they were running around in circles trying to get the ball for the most part. Next up was a morale destroying 4-2 loss to @Gregmeister Dortmund team who absolutely battered the already fragile Brazilian team, cries of "please, please let us at least use the Vaseline" were heard from the traveling fans. After the match fans were not sure what to make of Mr Prawns team so far, they were clutching at straws slightly trying to find positives but one thing was sure from these passionate fans and that was things need to improve quickly.

Improve things did not, a close 1-0 defeat to @Ultravires Millionarios team courtesey of a goal from the previously loved Fekir, perhaps he was proving a point against his old team. Then there was the 3-2 loss to Panathinaikos. By then end of this fans were going absolutely mental, calling for Metalprawn's head and trying to rip away the stadiums roof so that those deadly rays of sun could hit Mr Prawns beautiful yet delicate skin. They were basically wishing cancer upon his face. Fans started to fight each other just out of pure frustration and anger, massive waves of jujitsu could be seen on the tv cameras and flares were being fired off left right and centre, someone even got caught pissing in a cup and throwing it....the animals!



Lafont who is only a kid was targeted with a lot of abuse after he let several shots past him during these games that no grown man would have failed to catch, he was seen by a reporter crying into his baguette asking for his mum to take him away from these horrible people at which Mr Prawn stormed in and rubbed the baguette into his face and told him to "man the Fahook up or Fahook off"....Apparently he has been watching too much of Hell's kitchen lately. Ultimately Lafont Fahooked off.

Players are having to train at a secret base right now for their own protection and some recent behind closed door friendlies have yielded promising results, a change in formation and several players appears to have helped steady the ship. There is a small tingling sensation among the fans that is known as hope, its a dangerous feeling but one that may improve the atmosphere at home, and lets face it, Flamengo and Prawn need all the help they can get with upcoming fixtures against @alizawi @Don Raphael 007 @czysty to be played and these will all be far from easy games.

When asked about what his plan is Mr Prawn replied with this...

"Listen im not stupid, im well aware of how bad our start to the season has been and im not happy, im not happy at all, we have made some big changes with us bringing in Stones to help along and compliment the style of Zagadou whom we think has such an amazing future ahead of him. we have also signed two classy keepers who can actually catch the bloody ball in Rulli and Meret. We will continue to play attacking football as our goal is to entertain as much as it is to win, lets face it nobody wants to watch a boring team week in and week out..i wish Mourinho would realise that. But ive got faith in my squad as they really are a talented bunch with such natural ability, and if they continue to mess up i will clear the lot of them out. Finally to put an end to the why i came to Brazil rumors just look at the crowd, seriously there are loads of these birds in the stadium, its a nice view"






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Palloni Da Calcio will investigate the "testa di zenzero" ("gingerheads") claims and report back, @Metalprawn666

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An update.

Flamengo have since won their 1st game of the season. It was a surprise victory against Palestino who are a much feared team in the PS4 premier league. 

Things certainly didn't look promising before kick off with Rashford picking up an injury during the pre match warm up. For some reason he had tried to squeeze a whole orange into his massive mouth to impress new arrival Yarmolenko. Of course Yarmolenko thought this was mental and has already handed in a transfer request Citing the unprofessional approach of the squad. Anyway Rashford had to be rushed off to hospital with lock jaw.

this provides an opportunity for Diaz to step up and step up he did. He rifled his 1st into the top left corner after a good sharp turn, his 2nd was a calmly slotted effort and he would of had his hat trick if his shot from 25 yards hadn't smashed against the post.

Flamengo certainly ride their luck as Palestino missed several clear chances to score and Rulli pulled off some terrific stops. After a period of sustained pressure with the score at 2-1 Shaqiri managed to intercept a poorly placed pass and a slot into the far corner. Bartra then went on a mental run from deep and smashed in the 4th. The crowd went absolutely Fahooking mental! 


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